The Center of the City

Every time I see of picture of Notre Dame I'm reminded of the small apartment were we stayed. Clear as day I can see it in the edge of any photo. Listening to the bells playing in the morning, and the lines form in the afternoon. An endless summer was spent in those days sitting and in the shadow of the Notre Dame.

The Sound of Settling

"I could hear my heart beating. I could hear everyone's heart. I could hear the human noise we sat there making, not one of us moving, not even when the room went dark." - Raymond Carver

Bleeding Love

“I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded; not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night.”
—Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner


An old favorite book of mine from long ago.

Moving North

I'm trying to fathom moving to a place exactly opposite of where I grew up, opposite of everything I know. Now that I'm here in Utah without Andrew, Utah is beginning to feel foreign and dry. I think I'm ready. I look at the plants growing by the road and expect them to be wild flowers, not desert bushes. Driving down the freeway, I'm shocked by the amount of buildings and road I can see. I've begun to need the dense trees, need the green, needing the water that appears just around the corner. I'm finally ready. I need change.

I've been Afraid of Changing

"I'm restless.
Things are calling
Me away. My hair is
Being pulled by the
Stars again."

-Anais Nin

Summer is here. And so am I.

June on the West Coast

"There is a language older by far and deeper than words. It is the language of bodies, of body on body, wind on snow, rain on trees, wave on stone. It is the language of dream, gesture, symbol, memory. We have forgotten this language. We do not even remember that is exists." --Derrick Jensen

Things Fall Apart

'The as the dog said, "If I fall down for you and you fall down for me, it is play." Marriage should be a play not a fight; so we are falling down again.' -Chinua Achebe, Things Fall Apart

The feeling of forgetting

I think I've accurately figured out how to define this feeling creeping through my soul. Not exactly fear but, the realization that me heart will never be broken again. And that scares me. I'm afraid I'll miss it. Or get used to life without it. A sort of complacency.

A portion of your soul

"No, my friend, the blood does not flow beneath that ivory skin, the tide of life does not flush those delicate fibres, the purple veins that trace a network beneath the transparent amber of her brow and breast. Here the pulse seems to beat, there it is motionless, life and death are at strife in every detail; here you see a woman, there a statue, there again a corpse. Your creation is incomplete. You had only power to breathe a portion of your soul into your beloved work. The fire of Prometheus died out again and again in your hands; many a spot in your picture has not been touched by the divine flame." The Unknown Masterpiece Honore De Balzac

Afraid of what I need.

For whatever reason, you haven't seen me since February. Not to be deterred. I am alive and well. In a manner of speaking. Feeling this pretty heavy right now. "Yeah you're afraid of what you need. If you weren't, I don't know what we'd talk about." Thank you LCD soundsystem for accurately summing up my feelings. I'm afraid that what I need is not what I currently have. And now that I know, I have to do something about it.

Ebony

The world should be described in the simplest terms possible, but no simpler.

Albert Einstein

Glass, Concrete and Stone.

The cold. So many things can become clear and accepted when you are able to understand the context. The nature of being.

"She pushed her way into that parade because she couldn't resist the excitement of the drumbeats."

The place where the sky meets the earth

So often we get caught up in the lines. The little minute details. Life becomes dictated by the rules, by what we can and cannot do. I propose an idea, remove the lines, letting the good come together and begin to see a more complete picture. A fusion of life.

Um just feeling nostalgic. And thanks to Andy Warhol, "I wonder if it's possible to have a love affair that lasts forever."

Live.

I Believe I can Fly ( flight of the frenchies). Trailer from sebastien montaz-rosset on Vimeo.

They're terrified but they just went for it.

‎"A work of art is the unique result of a unique temperament." -Oscar Wilde

Cope.

I'm like that bee. The one who has been stuck in a jar. The lid of that jar is suddenly open but I'm so used to that little jar that I don't fly out. Trapped by something that is only myself.

A bright Christmas.

"In the birth of that child, the universe rejoiced." Elder Dieter F Uchtdorf

This year what am I going to give to Christ?

Living our lives between each breath. A fresh run.

In Perfect Unison.

Life.
Vibrant color flowing from our souls, finding beauty in all the earth.
These fall leaves pay homage all that came before, Life of spring and green of summer.
And now they fall, preparing us for what comes now.
Death is so different.
The leaves try and tell us it's coming yet unprepared we're caught.
Requiring a sort of silence that I so aptly give.
No one asks it of me but my soul wills it.
There is nothing to be said, a part of me has gone away.
A time to be born and a time to die as they say.

Odd how we all just keep on living after we go.
Bits and pieces of our soul get left behind in the hearts and minds of others.
We're all connected, one massive living organism.
Tied together by our roots,
There is no end.