Cope.

I'm like that bee. The one who has been stuck in a jar. The lid of that jar is suddenly open but I'm so used to that little jar that I don't fly out. Trapped by something that is only myself.

A bright Christmas.

"In the birth of that child, the universe rejoiced." Elder Dieter F Uchtdorf

This year what am I going to give to Christ?

Living our lives between each breath. A fresh run.

In Perfect Unison.

Life.
Vibrant color flowing from our souls, finding beauty in all the earth.
These fall leaves pay homage all that came before, Life of spring and green of summer.
And now they fall, preparing us for what comes now.
Death is so different.
The leaves try and tell us it's coming yet unprepared we're caught.
Requiring a sort of silence that I so aptly give.
No one asks it of me but my soul wills it.
There is nothing to be said, a part of me has gone away.
A time to be born and a time to die as they say.

Odd how we all just keep on living after we go.
Bits and pieces of our soul get left behind in the hearts and minds of others.
We're all connected, one massive living organism.
Tied together by our roots,
There is no end.

Through a window in a well lit room.

"People need not fear the unknown if they are capable of achieving what they need and want."

Paulo Coelho
The Alchemist

Found.

"How can I ever hope to describe a good friend such as you?
A few words come to mind: reliable, loyal, true.
When I have a sleepless night you're a simple phone call away.
And when I have a rough day you know just what to say.
You put up with my weirdness and my crazy insanity.
You're patience is as endless as the vast Atlantic sea.
You've always there to listen and you've ready with a grin.
Just being with you makes me feel like I'm in it for the win.
You give advice, you're happy, and you serve with real intent.
And most of the time I wonder if you're truly haven sent.

And so, good sir, it's time for me this cheesy poem to end
But let it be known, through good and bad, I'm grateful you're my friend."

A lost notebook on on the desk at Helaman.

But really.

Currently failing at creating my own art, I resort to that of others. I love this beautiful world.

Edge of Creation

Human Language creates within each individual the ability to create words and ideas, things that have never been thought before. It's courage. Courage to search within ourselves and express our utmost feelings.


"You are my beautiful broken angel, bruised and battered by life...your imperfection is your beauty and perfection, and it lets you embrace and love someone as imperfect and wounded and broken as myself." Anonymous

Something Borrowed.

"Parks are idealizations of nature, but nature in fact is not a condition of the ideal."
- Robert Smithson

Every now and again.

My words are the ones that float into the creases of peoples lives.

It comes softly today, not as a wave of emotion but such as the gentle breeze.

Like abstract art, coming to life in the oddest of forms.

My heart, abstract art.

They told me to be able.

My heart is exploding with all the unspoken words between us,

A world of silence away from where we ever wanted to be.

See how they resemble one another.

I never knew who I was until I met you. Funny how our lives work, each day we are changing together.

Summer comes to multiply.

Everyone has different words,

Split, Torn, Divided.

You and Him. Me.

Alone.

I don't think you ever realized,

I am never meant to lose you,

I only ever wanted to be yours.

Now you're lost,

Me? I'm here.

Wishing you would be happy,

Come,

Unravel yourself from that world you're in.

To care about each other.

Mutual. A feeling or action.

Don't forget me while you're gone.

Soul

Heavy heart

Here it come.

The hardest part is the eyes. The truth I see, the truth I feel.

So connected, so together.

Still not enough? Slipping steadily.

We, farther. Falling without a place to land.

Learning

So T today was like, I guess poets only write about sad stuff. (Because I haven't written in so long) Well, nope! Each day with him, I am learning and growing. What a wonderful thing to be constantly evolving, it is such an adventure and I'm pretty sure I don't want it to stop.

I'm new at this, the whole opening up forever.

You're teaching me.

I learn.

Yes, everyday is different. Everyday is new.

I wake up each morning.

Always, always needing you.

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
-St. Augustine

Perception

Photographs die. After a while they scarcely remind us of the dead. At first each snapshot is a shock. Then something happens to the pictures, they reveal only a blueprint of the face, not its truth.

Anna Kamienska

I can't stop.

G.L. calls me—a blind man whom I met a couple of years back. He remembers my every word. The loneliness of the blind.

He’s freed from his loneliness by the word. Isn’t that the point of poetry? Breaking through the walls of solitude. Poetry is the great S.O.S. of loneliness.

G.S. tells me he is a beggar always pleading for human help.

I say, “I wish that you could see the world more clearly”—and suddenly realize the absurdity of my words. I’m speaking to a blind man.

He takes my hand. He sees only with his hand.

“Mercy flows through touch alone,” from my poem “Body.”

Exactly a month later.

Time flies.

Accidents are the atoms of life, its thread is spun from them, whether up or down.
The “script” of accidents is difficult to decipher.

Anna Kamienska

Um whoa, how amazing.

I am so happy. There is so much hope everywhere. It is seeping through my soul, into my veins and pulsing life. The great unknown.

Things change, or they die.

I'm a different person from the one I was yesterday. As the sun rises, fresh and new light shines down and then we wake, renewed. We all change, every minute of everyday. Things recycle themselves, starting fresh and new. We learn new things, new experiences effect who we are. If we didn't, how on earth could we progress? We would be stuck, stagnant and unchangeable. But no, we are each able to grasp onto the atonement and let change fill our souls, turning over and moving forward. If there wasn't change we wouldn't have the potential to become like God because we couldn't repent, we'd be stuck, imperfect beings. Looking forward, not back is key to progression. We must learn and move forward continually.

The truth comes in shades of grey

It tossed and tossed,

A little brig I knew,

O'ertook by blast,

It spun and spun,

And groped delirious, for morn.

It slipped and slipped,

As one that drunken stepped;

Its white foot tripped,

Then dropped from sight.

Ah, brig, good-night

To crew and you;

The ocean's heart too smooth, too blue,

To break for you.

Emily Dickinson

That I don't know factor.

Okay. Honestly, I've done this before. I thought to myself that time before, "never again" and yet here I am. I have absolutely lost my way. A little too far into carelessness. That's the problem here. We didn't really care. Well we did but just so...we were doing it wrong. But then we do. Now. I know we don't know and I also know last time I didn't know. Know=no. Irony really. That's all it boils down to. A strange set of ironic situations. So in the true mood of the night, I will just see what happens. Is it wrong that I like it that way and it feels right? For me to have this indecision feels just fine. Hmmm. Is comfortable wrong? Am I wrong?

This one is for Tanner. I don't know why.

Nothing is going to startle us more when we pass through the veil to the other side than to realize how well we know our Father and how familiar his face is to us - Ezra Taft Benson

Welcome to the New Year. 1.1.11

I think that every single day we are able to change and be better then the day before but today is possible a little more special because we are able to make goals that span longer then just a day. This day is fresh and clean, it is a new start. Just the beginning. So here I am sitting in a place I've never been hoping to make this year something better then the last. Thank heavens there is so much to improve upon. I've never much talked about total personal life stuff but today is the day right? Remember but always keep going.
1. Learning what is best for me
2. Getting to know the girls in my ward
3. Writing off my best friend so he could focus on the most important thing
4. Applying for summer jobs, Aspen Grove and Helaman Halls. Lucky enough to choose
5. A new sister came into my life, full of light and joy for our entire family Boom Emery Christine Peterson 4.5.10
6. Foot surgery, bye bye Paul
7. A new boyfriend
8. A summer of hard work and adventure at Aspen Grove
9. My best friend Lauren Rae Olsen got married
10. I got a car
11. I went home and to California with some good times with other people's families
12. Ended things and learned what it truly is like to listen to the spirit and know what to do, feeling clear direction in my life and learning Heavenly Father will never lead me astray
13. Robot Unicorn Attack and an awesome Halloween
14. Jerusalem, friends and a desire
15. Writing letters
16. Abnormal Psychology
17. My hardest semester yet at BYU
18. Making new friends
19. Thanksgiving
20. Christmas with my family and a bomb diggity family, Nativity Scene
21. New Years in California, lucky to meet one amazing family
22. That brings me to my New Year. I'm so grateful for all that I have been so blessed with. I can't stop thanking my Heavenly Father for the amazing family I have been given and this year I hope to treat them better then ever. I don't want to take anything for granted. What a joy it is to be continually learning so much, about myself and about the world around me.