Thursday, December 16, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
To live and to die,
Finding direction and finding life,
We all are left to choose,
To discover the treasures of the world
Or to be left in darkness
To die, the tragic death of dreams
Or to continue forward, learning all the way.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
This orchestra grows rambunctious, rears on its hind legs and attacks the tonal veil with primitive fury, rending it, clawing it until it breaks through to the jungle beyond. I follow those heathen--follow them exultingly. I dance wildly inside myself; I yell within, I whoop; I shake my assegai above my head, I hurl it true to the mark yeeeeooww! I am in the jungle and living in the jungle way. My face is painted red and yellow and my body is painted blue. My pulse is throbbing like a war drum. I want to slaughter something--give pain, give death to what, I do not know. But the piece ends. The men of the orchestra wipe their lips and rest their fingers. I creep back slowly to the veneer we call civilization with the last tone and find the white friend sitting motionless in his seat, smoking calmly.
"Good music they have here," he remarks, drumming the table with his fingertips.
Music. The great blobs of purple and red emotion have not touched him. He has only heard what I felt. He is far away and I see him but dimly across the ocean and the continent that have fallen between us. He is so pale with his whiteness then and I am so colored.
Zora Neale Hurston
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
That feeling of apathy. Oh my heavens, it just came about like these clouds. Covered up that beautiful blue sky and them stars. Not to say darkness has overshadowed my life, nope, not like that. Anything but that. I think it is just the time to move on. I have no problem leaving this, I just need to know that it's time to go. I don't think I could handle bringing about something that I didn't intend, especially now. It is almost a good feeling, being ready to let it all go. I mean seriously, this almost feels healthy.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make
not a bond of love Let it rather be a moving sea between
the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow
—- khalil gabrin, on love—-
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Halfway through the semester and I am fairly in over my head...people say this is the point where you kick it into gear and run on some chemical your body is producing too much of (adrenaline) Well folks, I'm not sure I can do that. I need to keep going but I definitely am at a loss to how I can get it all done. But then again, there is always the hope of another semester, one with easier classes and a lighter work load. That is currently my focus. Just keep pushing till I end up on the other side. I can almost see a little bit of light even now. Well maybe not but I have a feeling like it is out there somewhere.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
So I'm sitting here listening to the uke. Looking at lovely things (Paper Tissue). Wearing purple party pants. I figure it is like this. Everyone feels like everyone else, just sometimes not at the same time. Fundamentally we all have the same goals. We're all just really unpredictable. Things change, come and go. I like it. Let's not stop because it is late and we're tired. Don't let the habit get in the way of something better.
Monday, October 4, 2010
I also went to a bomb diggity concert on Saturday night with my girl Anna and Mary. (That is where the title comes from)
Monday, September 27, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
no less than the trees and the stars
you have a right to be here
and whether or not it is clear to you
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should
therefore be at peace with God
whatever you conceive him to be
and whatever your labors and aspirations
in the noisy confusion of life
keep peace with your soul
with all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams
it is still a beautiful world.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
"From what we cannot hold the stars are made."
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
“…Once upon a time there was a lady. She had no children, and no happiness either. And at first she cried for a long time, but then she became wicked…” Margarita fell silent, and took her hand away—the boy was sleeping.”
Our plans never turn out like we suppose them to. Ah but that is life, endless possibilities. We must be willing to let go of everything, in that moment can we gain anything.
Monday, April 12, 2010
What a beautiful day. Taken by the wind was never so true, it sweeps my hair away from my face and pulls at the corners of my heart. I love the wind. But here I talk about something more. A different bit of wind. The wind of life that threatens to uproot us from the ground of faith. Somedays it just blows and blows, seemingly to never cease. But there is hope, Christ atoned for these kind of days. He through his redeeming love and strength was "bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him." I find my strength through my great redeemer and Savior who suffered all things. And I live.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
That is it. I turned twenty. I've decided that I am an adult. Officially. So then. What do adults do? They care about people. Or that is the type of adult I am aspiring to be. They aren't super sarcastic. They are professional. They wake up at a decent hour...8am? They make their beds. And put away their clothes. They eat healthy. They call people on the phone. They go to the temple. They listen. They aren't selfish. They are on time. They pay with cash. Have wallets for that cash. And purses for those wallets. When a book is started, it is finished. So there we have it. A set of goals.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
eating the birds, margaret atwood
Monday, April 5, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
You know, we talked about this exact thing in Relief Society on Sunday. The whole entire natural world typifies Christ through rebirth, growth, change and eventually yes, death. We all are here in this beautiful world that our maker created for us. Now is the time to decided to look around and see that beauty. One of my favorite things in the entire world is the sky--from the sunrise to the stars--I am in love with it. I live to be outside, basking in that life giving light. As I take the time to do this, I begin to see things differently, and get an eternal perspective. Oh how crushingly grateful I am for this world.
Monday, March 15, 2010
My parents, my heroes.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
I am in love with a boy. Ingrid Michaelson happens to be the theme today. Sometimes you can't see what will happen. I certainly can't but yes in all of our lives, everything will be okay. This life is our time to learn and figure things out, our time to trust in that supreme maker, our Heavenly Father. He does see, so when I don't I trust in the one who can. I strive to listen to him and hope that this can only bring good. I am trusting in you Father. Take care of that boy that I love. Take good good care of him.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
"It's humiliating and hard to be human."
I heard this from a motivational speaker earlier tonight, and I immediately copied it down in my notebook.
See, I am human (obviously), and I am painfully aware of that fact.
I am aware of it every time I study for a test and barely pass (or don't pass at all).
I am aware of it every time I lose my temper with someone cause deep down I'm frustrated with myself.
I am aware of it every time I ignore my problems, only to find they have increased.
I am aware of it every time I sit down to write and cannot express myself.
I am aware of it every time I cry.
I am aware of it every time I forget myself.
I am aware of it every time I think maybe I can handle this life on my own.
I am aware of it every time I forget other people are humans too.
I am aware of it every time I can't get out of bed because the world is full of opportunities to fail.
Here's to being human. At least it won't last forever.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
I don't profess to know anything, nor can I promise that I won't love you but you should know now. I'm not perfect, nor do I have the perfect words. I write to figure it out with you. We're in this together.